Post
08 Sep 2021
While I am mainly here to discuss how to do things in Reason, rather than how to behave, I cannot ignore that this thread gives me a déjà vu from the old Propellerhead forum, where intended irony eventually slipped into a corrosive culture, that likely contributed to its demise.
Things like jest and irony, are really hard to successfully convey in writing. Devoid of clues such as facial expressions, gestures, body language, pronunciation, tone, timing, phrasing, et cetera, text tends to feel colder, starker and less friendly.
That shouldn't be strange, as many of the little things we do, when we meet in person, serves to build emotional connections and form bonds between people. Remove them, and we are left with disembodied characters, from which it may be hard or impossible, to clearly tell whether the writer is smiling, smug or sneering.
For example, in precisely which mood am I, right now, writing this? Different readers would come up with different answers, each valid to each of them. I cannot control any of that. All I can do is try my very best to come across clearly and politely.
Frequent contributors may, over time, figure one another out well enough to comfortably use a pointier language between themselves, than towards others. Even then, remember that not everyone else will get that it is friendly fun, but may instead take it as literal examples of acceptable behaviour, especially when coming from somehow senior members. Joking about oneself is usually harmless, though.
Boring as it may seem, it may be wise to think trice before posting once. Should a light-hearted witticism still not be received well, asking Why so serious, usually just adds insult to injury.
It is remarkably easy to become the involuntary jerk when writing in public. Should that happen, rolling eyes in private, is fine. In writing though, as the intention probably wasn't to offend, do extend an apology, try to learn something and move on. An acceptable intent does not invalidate a thorny interpretation, and the hurt is real, for whomever may feel unfairly treated.
That said, I would, as a final remark, like to recommend readers to keep this in mind too, and be aware that it is very easy to read malice into what was supposed to be merry. If reasonable, try not to get too offended. If answering back, don't try to get back at them. That just starts a vicious cycle. Let the anger, if any, subside before replying. Aim to de-escalate, to be the reasonable adult. Don't be a doormat though. Make it clear if someone overstepped. Just try not to overstep back. Thank you for your time.
Last edited by wikholm on 08 Sep 2021, edited 3 times in total.
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