[Kyiv Pop/Rock] Blissful is he 2.0 REVISED VERSION (Cчастлив Он)

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EdwardKiy
Posts: 760
Joined: 02 Oct 2019

22 Mar 2020

EDIT: MANY THANKS FOR YOUR SUGGESTIONS, GUYS! After taking all of them into account, here's an updated version after 2 more weeks of work.

Made in Reason and Live as sequencer. My friend (who is a Live user) wrote the bass line for me. Funnily enough, he did it with Reason Bass Guitar rig, having never used Reason before (his actual bass guitar is quarantined in another city).

I would appreciate some feedback as to how to make this more "professional-sounding". No need to hold back or being nice - that I really don't care about.

Thanks!

Last edited by EdwardKiy on 27 Apr 2020, edited 5 times in total.

jamesa
Posts: 58
Joined: 30 Nov 2019

24 Mar 2020

Хорошо / Добре / Great :-)

The song has a real vibe to it. The arrangement is very creative. It sounds "Kyivan" somehow even though I've never been there. I don't really have any recommendations on making it sound more pro as your production skills are way beyond mine. I can only encourage you to keep making and sharing your music.

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aeox
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24 Mar 2020

I think it's really good. Soild mix! The vocals aren't working for me but that's my personal taste. I'd love to hear an instrumental.

That bass is awesome

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EdwardKiy
Posts: 760
Joined: 02 Oct 2019

25 Mar 2020

jamesa wrote:
24 Mar 2020
Хорошо / Добре / Great :-)

The song has a real vibe to it. The arrangement is very creative. It sounds "Kyivan" somehow even though I've never been there. I don't really have any recommendations on making it sound more pro as your production skills are way beyond mine. I can only encourage you to keep making and sharing your music.
Thank you, that's very encouraging :D And a generous muse to you!

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EdwardKiy
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Joined: 02 Oct 2019

25 Mar 2020

aeox wrote:
24 Mar 2020
I think it's really good. Soild mix! The vocals aren't working for me but that's my personal taste. I'd love to hear an instrumental.

That bass is awesome
Thanks man, really appreciate your input. Will let my friend know about the bass.

You think there's a way to make the vocals palatable, or better leave it at "not your taste"?

Someone told me this could do with percussion ( Duuuh!), so I'm working on that atm. Will post the instrumental once I've figured it out.

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Auryn
Posts: 842
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Location: La Mancha

25 Mar 2020

EdwardKiy wrote:
22 Mar 2020
This is 1 of the 2 tracks for my 90 days challenge. The goal was to make 2 "professional-sounding" pieces in "opposite" genres.

I am in love with the software so far and I wish I could produce on Reason start to finish, but halfway through the project, the sequencer choked on %!"^$& £$"£ and died, so I had to ask a friend to help me transfer this to Live's sequencer. He's a pro bass player, and he also wrote the bass line for me. Funnily enough, he did it with Reason Bass Guitar rig, having never used Reason before (his actual bass is quarantined in another city).

I would appreciate some feedback as to how to make this more "professional-sounding". No need to hold back or being nice - that I really don't care about.
So let's see, it all depends on what you mean by "professional-sounding" ... what is your benchmark? Since you're slavic (Russian? Ukraine?) 90% chance it's Depeche Mode or Sisters of Mercy or something up that alley ;)

Anyway I listened to this on my trusty studio headphones and here's some points of attention
- compared to radio-play tracks this track is pretty quiet (i.e. it's not compressed/limited to all hell) so that's an obvious thing you could work on, if you want that
- vocal is probably a little too loud compared to the backing track (I could probably give you more feedback on the backing track mix if the vocal were not as prominent)
- track sounds a bit on the dry side (not a lot of verb/delay going on)
- boxy snare, maybe that's how you like it, but if it's unintentional, try highpassing and if that fails, try a notch around 200-300 hz (check the spectrum analyser)
- there's probably some other sounds that could do with highpassing (vocal? / strings ?) but it's hard to tell. Most radio play tracks, especially EDM, will have a highpass filter on everything but the kick and bass.
- tinny bass sound, the slap is more prominent that the body, maybe try boosting around 80hz?

hope that helps!

I do like the track btw, nice string arrangement. What's it about?
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EdwardKiy
Posts: 760
Joined: 02 Oct 2019

25 Mar 2020

Auryn wrote:
25 Mar 2020
EdwardKiy wrote:
22 Mar 2020
This is 1 of the 2 tracks for my 90 days challenge. The goal was to make 2 "professional-sounding" pieces in "opposite" genres.

I am in love with the software so far and I wish I could produce on Reason start to finish, but halfway through the project, the sequencer choked on %!"^$& £$"£ and died, so I had to ask a friend to help me transfer this to Live's sequencer. He's a pro bass player, and he also wrote the bass line for me. Funnily enough, he did it with Reason Bass Guitar rig, having never used Reason before (his actual bass is quarantined in another city).

I would appreciate some feedback as to how to make this more "professional-sounding". No need to hold back or being nice - that I really don't care about.
So let's see, it all depends on what you mean by "professional-sounding" ... what is your benchmark? Since you're slavic (Russian? Ukraine?) 90% chance it's Depeche Mode or Sisters of Mercy or something up that alley ;)

Anyway I listened to this on my trusty studio headphones and here's some points of attention
- compared to radio-play tracks this track is pretty quiet (i.e. it's not compressed/limited to all hell) so that's an obvious thing you could work on, if you want that
- vocal is probably a little too loud compared to the backing track (I could probably give you more feedback on the backing track mix if the vocal were not as prominent)
- track sounds a bit on the dry side (not a lot of verb/delay going on)
- boxy snare, maybe that's how you like it, but if it's unintentional, try highpassing and if that fails, try a notch around 200-300 hz (check the spectrum analyser)
- there's probably some other sounds that could do with highpassing (vocal? / strings ?) but it's hard to tell. Most radio play tracks, especially EDM, will have a highpass filter on everything but the kick and bass.
- tinny bass sound, the slap is more prominent that the body, maybe try boosting around 80hz?

hope that helps!

I do like the track btw, nice string arrangement. What's it about?
This is gold, thank you! I'll get to work on the things you've mentioned.
High-passed the hell out of the vocal to a point where someone told me it's lacking testosterone :roll:

The lyrics go something like this:

who are you, dear - all for one?
or one for all, by the zeroes multiplied?
passing days, fleeting nights
shouting "(you'll) be gone soon"
as hard as they can

here's freedom - what to do with it?
truths are hidden under beds

inner voice gave (me) advice in profanities
to waste my life delightfully
on you, just on you
rudely, gently, lovingly

your light will blind the sighted sage
finally, he will become a boy!

poke a stick in the ground
(he) will not understand a thing
blissful is he, now he's blissful
blissful is he, now he's blissful

FHtH
Posts: 138
Joined: 21 Jul 2016

25 Mar 2020

Very nice.

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EdwardKiy
Posts: 760
Joined: 02 Oct 2019

25 Mar 2020

FHtH wrote:
25 Mar 2020
Very nice.
Thank you!

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guitfnky
Posts: 4408
Joined: 19 Jan 2015

25 Mar 2020

the mix sounds pretty good. I don’t mind how dry everything sounds, personally. I agree the vocals are a bit distracting, both being a bit loud, and also, being a little “pitchy”. spending a little time in the pitch editor should solidify that nicely. I dig the (translated) lyrics.

musically, it’s a solid track. 👍🏼

the bass is hit and miss for me. I agree with an earlier comment that the slap bass is a little thin for my tastes—it’s mostly tasteful, but in a couple of sections it seems like it’s being fancy for the sake of being fancy.

it sounds like there might be a second bass holding down more of the low end in spots? I like that kind of thing (musical interplay is one of the most interesting things to explore, I think). hard to give good advice on the basses here, since I don’t know what you’re really going for. if it was my song, I’d probably firm up the low end on the slap bass, and simplify it—sort of combining the two sets of basslines so you have one bass that’s holding down the low end, and also popping through with some of those cool funk fills where appropriate. or you could lean into the fact that they’re different and maybe work on the interplay between the two; in that case, I’d still simplify the slap bass, but would probably add a little bit more movement in the lower-register bass.

or maybe I’m mishearing that, and there is no second bass. 😅

either way, good track!
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aeox
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Joined: 23 Feb 2017
Location: Oregon

25 Mar 2020

EdwardKiy wrote:
25 Mar 2020
aeox wrote:
24 Mar 2020
I think it's really good. Soild mix! The vocals aren't working for me but that's my personal taste. I'd love to hear an instrumental.

That bass is awesome
Thanks man, really appreciate your input. Will let my friend know about the bass.

You think there's a way to make the vocals palatable, or better leave it at "not your taste"?

Someone told me this could do with percussion ( Duuuh!), so I'm working on that atm. Will post the instrumental once I've figured it out.

I'm thinking that without the vocals, you could make everything else louder in the mix while maintaining good dynamic range. And let the instruments shine more overall.

With vocal, as mentioned already it's a bit loud and needs some pitch correction. To make it "palatable" to me could be different than the next person. So my opinion doesn't really hold any weight.

Also if you omit the vocal you have lots of room for percussion and maybe leads, etc. All kinds of stuff you could do.

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gullum
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Location: Faroe Islands
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25 Mar 2020

Nice idea and I really like the idea of this to me coffee shop at the corner of the street feel. The vocals don't work for me mostly.
The background vocal are out of tune with the main vocal, that again is out of tune with the instruments in places. The Best advice I can give if to pitch correct the vocals or do as I would do, get someone else to sing.

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EdwardKiy
Posts: 760
Joined: 02 Oct 2019

25 Mar 2020

guitfnky wrote:
25 Mar 2020
the mix sounds pretty good. I don’t mind how dry everything sounds, personally. I agree the vocals are a bit distracting, both being a bit loud, and also, being a little “pitchy”. spending a little time in the pitch editor should solidify that nicely. I dig the (translated) lyrics.

musically, it’s a solid track. 👍🏼

the bass is hit and miss for me. I agree with an earlier comment that the slap bass is a little thin for my tastes—it’s mostly tasteful, but in a couple of sections it seems like it’s being fancy for the sake of being fancy.

it sounds like there might be a second bass holding down more of the low end in spots? I like that kind of thing (musical interplay is one of the most interesting things to explore, I think). hard to give good advice on the basses here, since I don’t know what you’re really going for. if it was my song, I’d probably firm up the low end on the slap bass, and simplify it—sort of combining the two sets of basslines so you have one bass that’s holding down the low end, and also popping through with some of those cool funk fills where appropriate. or you could lean into the fact that they’re different and maybe work on the interplay between the two; in that case, I’d still simplify the slap bass, but would probably add a little bit more movement in the lower-register bass.

or maybe I’m mishearing that, and there is no second bass. 😅

either way, good track!
Clean up the bass line, body to the slap and/or movement in the bass synth, got it! Thanks, much appreciated!

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EdwardKiy
Posts: 760
Joined: 02 Oct 2019

25 Mar 2020

aeox wrote:
25 Mar 2020

I'm thinking that without the vocals, you could make everything else louder in the mix while maintaining good dynamic range. And let the instruments shine more overall.

With vocal, as mentioned already it's a bit loud and needs some pitch correction. To make it "palatable" to me could be different than the next person. So my opinion doesn't really hold any weight.

Also if you omit the vocal you have lots of room for percussion and maybe leads, etc. All kinds of stuff you could do.
Mix down the vocals when they are not shit. Gotcha! Thanks!

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EdwardKiy
Posts: 760
Joined: 02 Oct 2019

25 Mar 2020

gullum wrote:
25 Mar 2020
Nice idea and I really like the idea of this to me coffee shop at the corner of the street feel. The vocals don't work for me mostly.
The background vocal are out of tune with the main vocal, that again is out of tune with the instruments in places. The Best advice I can give if to pitch correct the vocals or do as I would do, get someone else to sing.
Had doubts about the echo myself, but after the soundcloud compression it became even more prominent (or maybe I got more critical after uploading) and now I can barely listen to it myself. This was my second take on vocals and coincidentally the second time ever I was singing into a microphone, so I might give myself another chance. I tried fiddling with pitch correction, but all I got was a flat unison, so I'll have to re-record some parts or even all of it. I realize my voice is really sub-par, but I'd rather try to improve and mend it, rather than have a pro who's emotionally detached do it for me. But if I don't improve quickly, I'll pay a pro. Thanks!

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EdwardKiy
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Joined: 02 Oct 2019

25 Mar 2020

Thank you guys, wasn't expecting so much useful feedback! Truly!

jamesa
Posts: 58
Joined: 30 Nov 2019

25 Mar 2020

I actually like the vocals. It could be a cultural thing - although born in Canada I have a partial Slavic background and I'm familiar with Eastern European music and genres. They work for me as they are. The song is a really interesting fusion of styles and genres.

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Auryn
Posts: 842
Joined: 12 Aug 2015
Location: La Mancha

25 Mar 2020

guitfnky wrote:
25 Mar 2020
it sounds like there might be a second bass holding down more of the low end in spots? I like that kind of thing (musical interplay is one of the most interesting things to explore, I think). hard to give good advice on the basses here, since I don’t know what you’re really going for. if it was my song, I’d probably firm up the low end on the slap bass, and simplify it—sort of combining the two sets of basslines so you have one bass that’s holding down the low end, and also popping through with some of those cool funk fills where appropriate. or you could lean into the fact that they’re different and maybe work on the interplay between the two; in that case, I’d still simplify the slap bass, but would probably add a little bit more movement in the lower-register bass.

or maybe I’m mishearing that, and there is no second bass. 😅
See, this was what was bothering me too, is there another synth down there muddying up the bass? Couldn't quite tell.
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raymondh
Posts: 1776
Joined: 15 Jan 2015

24 Apr 2020

Great job.

The bass is great as others have said.

The highlight for me though is all the string parts. They sound fantastic and create a great emotion in the track.

Thanks for sharing!

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EdwardKiy
Posts: 760
Joined: 02 Oct 2019

25 Apr 2020

raymondh wrote:
24 Apr 2020
Great job.

The bass is great as others have said.

The highlight for me though is all the string parts. They sound fantastic and create a great emotion in the track.

Thanks for sharing!
Thanks man! Sorry, I just updated the track after your post.

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Skimrok
Posts: 628
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Location: U.K.

25 Apr 2020

reminds me of the early 80s so I like it, thanks for sharing , I like the ruff around the edge vocal with the smoother strings and guitar :thumbs_up:
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EdwardKiy
Posts: 760
Joined: 02 Oct 2019

26 Apr 2020

Skimrok wrote:
25 Apr 2020
reminds me of the early 80s so I like it, thanks for sharing , I like the ruff around the edge vocal with the smoother strings and guitar :thumbs_up:
Thanks man, glad you enjoyed it!

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Auryn
Posts: 842
Joined: 12 Aug 2015
Location: La Mancha

27 Apr 2020

Definite improvement over the previous version mix-wise. There's a lot more clarity now. I feel the string arrangement, which is excellent by the way, comes through better now as well. Since the song is only 2 minutes you might consider adding 30 seconds at the end with only the strings and some other instruments playing as an extended 'outro'
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EdwardKiy
Posts: 760
Joined: 02 Oct 2019

27 Apr 2020

Auryn wrote:
27 Apr 2020
Since the song is only 2 minutes you might consider adding 30 seconds at the end with only the strings and some other instruments playing as an extended 'outro'
Thanks! At one point there was an extended outro, and it was a somewhat painful conceptual decision to make the song as laconic as possible

I don't think it's finished, but for now I can't figure out what's missing in those 2 minutes, other than re-recording the vocals. I'll let it sit in the freezer for a bit.

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Scruffager
Posts: 19
Joined: 02 May 2020

03 May 2020

A lot of good advice has already been given, so I'll try to limit myself to avoid repeating what others have said:

Have you tried putting a de-esser on the vocals? To me the sss's and sh's stick out a bit too much. Once they are lower in the mix they might not stand out as much though, so I would wait until you lower them before you decide if you need one or not. Adding a reverb to the vocals might also help, the dryness may be contributing to this.

I like the doubling of the vocals and how crisp they are, and if you don't want to go for a wet sounding vocal, maybe just adding a small room reverb would be enough to meld it?

I also think you could use a small room reverb on the drums, and it could be fun to mess around with a gated reverb on the snare. I think it would go well with the timbre of the snare you chose.

I'm not a huge fan of the bass. I would not generally use that timbre of bass on a pop song, but if you're really into it, maybe consider eq-ing out a bit of the attack to soften it a little? I generally find that the attack of a string bass sound is around 800-1k.

This is a fun and creative arrangement, excited to hear where you go with it!
Mac OS 10.14.6, Reason 11, Presonus Quantum 2 TB3, Adam Audio A7X monitors, Roland Aira System 1

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