sleep1979 wrote: ↑09 May 2019
imagine if I go out with them and I don't drink , what's the point ?
diminished wrote: ↑09 May 2019
If the activity of drinking alcohol is what connects you to people, maybe pick up a new hobby where other people are involved. I'm thinking of sports, pottery or any craft where you can visit seminars, and charity work.
Also, if there is no point in not drinking with these people you mentioned, maybe there is no point in hanging around with them at all.
Being afraid of isolation comes to mind. Isolation and depression can kill you, but alcohol or any drug is not the solution - it makes things so much worse AND it will hurt you and the ones you love.
I couldn't have put this better myself. If drinking is becoming a problem for you and your friends are only worth being with when they are drunk, then you need new friends. Answer me this: what do you love? Think about that. Really think about it. Then go and do it with people.
sleep1979 wrote: ↑09 May 2019
I'm on dating sites atm so many women wanna drink lol .
Well, like with friends, if those women are only interested in getting wasted and that isn't working for you as a lifestyle, then they aren't the right women for you. What's the point of doing something that makes you unhappy just so you can meet people who want to keep doing things that make you unhappy? Why not just wait a bit longer to weed them out and find the ones who enjoy doing things that you enjoy and are good for you too? And when I say "good for you", I emphasise the word "you" - whatever it is, it should be good for YOU.
sleep1979 wrote: ↑09 May 2019
maybe there are some problems which I don't wanna talk about here
That's fine of course, and the most important thing is that you have realised that there is something else you need to talk about. I don't know you at all of course, but if somebody I did know was telling me these things, then this would be the point I would be telling them that if they don't want to talk to me about those things, then they should consider finding someone who they are able to talk to about those things, whether a friend, a family member, or a professional.
sleep1979 wrote: ↑09 May 2019
but the real issue is , when I need to get out and have a release , coz im a single father of two when I get that free weekend , I don't wanna be sitting in making music/playing piano , as fun as that is I do that in the evenings and too much of that and I need to get out see people , so the problem is when I have that free time what to do to release? because
meeting humans that I know and care about usually involves drinking , im gonna start arranging coffee dates with women I think lol thanks man
Well, I think you have just made some progress in working out what you need to do. The sentence I've highlighted in bold seems to shed light on the issue - you understandably want to spend your free time socialising, but all of your social engagements involve alcohol. Your body and your brain appear to be telling you that this isn't working any more, so now is the time to think hard about making some decisions. You will lose some friends along the way, but if they are people who are only interested in having contact with you while you're doing something you hate, then fuck them. Move on and prioritise people who respect you enough to listen to you, and who will make the effort to engage with you in mutually enjoyable activities.
As far as we know we get one chance at life on this planet. Don't waste it doing things you hate. Find what you love, and do it as much as possible with other people who love it as much as you do.