(Electropop/rock) where to drifts the fluffy cloud?

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EdwardKiy
Posts: 296
Joined: 02 Oct 2019

Post 30 Jul 2020

Criticism is welcome!

Still working on an instrumental outro for the song, but at this point it seems like a minor detail.






Lyrics go something like this:


Verse:
Where to drifts the fluffy cloud - nobody knows,
she spreads her crimson hems
The moon beckons us into the dark - but no one seems to hurry

Pre-Chorus:
The ashes of our hopes are floating in the wind
The ashes of our hopes (once were) so mighty

Chorus:
When the heart is set aflame, it doesn't care for what it warms or what it burns,
this kind of wildfire can't be stopped
When there's a chance to get a chance - would it be worth it?
shall we resume our sleep on duty?
Let us lay down Solitaire,
while we watch the life about us

Verse x

Pre-Chorus x

Chorus x

Chorus 2:

clear skies will smile at you and they will let your light shine through
strong arms will lift the honest thoughts out of the rubble

The soul holds passion and a hope
But life is motion, life is deed
only motion, only deed

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Dabbler
Posts: 347
Joined: 18 Jan 2015
Location: Louisville, KY

Post 30 Jul 2020

this is cool. I like the vocals too.

teddymcw
Posts: 330
Joined: 13 May 2016

Post 30 Jul 2020

Ya, this is great! I love everything about this really. Ya, selfishly I do wish that the vocal was in English. Also my preference would be to have a few parts of each section have more interplay with the synth lines accentuating the vocals if that makes sense, as in one playing after another at times where as rt now they're always playing simultaneously. Yet that works too, this is great. Thanks for sharing!

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EdwardKiy
Posts: 296
Joined: 02 Oct 2019

Post 31 Jul 2020

Dabbler wrote:
30 Jul 2020
this is cool. I like the vocals too.
Glad you liked it! Thanks for giving it a spin.

User avatar
EdwardKiy
Posts: 296
Joined: 02 Oct 2019

Post 31 Jul 2020

teddymcw wrote:
30 Jul 2020
Ya, this is great! I love everything about this really. Ya, selfishly I do wish that the vocal was in English. Also my preference would be to have a few parts of each section have more interplay with the synth lines accentuating the vocals if that makes sense, as in one playing after another at times where as rt now they're always playing simultaneously. Yet that works too, this is great. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you! I'll look into how I can accentuate the vocals. I've had a version with more synths and this precise interplay you mentioned, but it made the whole thing too busy. There may still be a way...

Thank you for the feedback!

FHtH
Posts: 79
Joined: 21 Jul 2016

Post 31 Jul 2020

I liked the song. Ukrainian is a very musical language. / Мені сподобалася пісня. Українська дуже музична мова.

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