(Metal/ Punk) Working For You (Makes Me Want To Kill Myself)

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Tincture
Posts: 938
Joined: 18 Jan 2015
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08 Sep 2015



https://www.soundcloud.com/tincture-1/w ... ill-myself

https://www.circlingtheinevitable.bandc ... ill-myself Buy! £1

The kind of music I want to be making most.

Lyrics:
Can there be a new deal?
To live life how I feel
Time is what I need
No compulsion to succeed

Working for you makes
Me want to kill myself

Being free is all I need
I don't need more
Don't fuckin' want more

Being free is all I need
You won't make me
Won't ever break me

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Tincture
Posts: 938
Joined: 18 Jan 2015
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10 Sep 2015

Any criticisms welcome ... :redface: I can't sing and the timing could be improved for instance...

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Rook
Posts: 152
Joined: 16 Jan 2015

10 Sep 2015

I like the overall mix and the guitar tones. Some good riffs too. Some of the section changes (like at 0:40 and 1:00) feel choppy to me. Might flow better with some different fills and transitions that lead into each section more naturally.

It's a cool song though. Good work.

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Tincture
Posts: 938
Joined: 18 Jan 2015
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10 Sep 2015

Thanks Rook (it can be weird getting lots of listens but no feedback. I posted on SC that I'm not suicidal in case any irony was lost!). I'll take a listen to your music at the weekend when I get a new batch of Mb.

I haven't checked for sure but I think for one of those changes I did drop a synth stab on the 3/4 of the bar before to try and pre-empt the change but I prob left it too subtle. For electronic stuff I'd do something simple like a reverse cymbal at the 3/4 of the bar before but never thought to try it on this. I would say that I considered metal/punk guys not wanting anything 'synthetic' but no-one seems to be digging this anyway! I guess my time and tastes have passed (if they worked, I think these changes might have been called hooks?). But thanks man. I like it, so ... balls to 'em.

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Tincture
Posts: 938
Joined: 18 Jan 2015
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11 Sep 2015

The cymbals sound fine on the .wav file BTW (rather than downgraded streaming versions).

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