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JNeffLind
Posts: 977
Joined: 16 Jan 2015
Location: So. Illinois, USA

Post 18 Apr 2015

Kazz wrote:I agree with the other comments about the stutter and the vocal processing...I also wonder about the White verse; you have Red, Red, Red at the beginning and Blue, Blue, Blue at the end, but White, Or, White in the middle.

If you did that for a reason it's alright, but if you just weren't sure how to word it to keep White there or somethin' then I'd take another shot at that and make it more consistent.

Overall I think you've got a good foundation, just needs a bit of polishing up! :)
Thanks for the input man. You make a good point about the consistency of the first lines. I'll have to mull that over and see if anything better occurs. Can't remember now if it was a conscious choice to vary it or if that's just what came out.

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