That scared the living crap out of me

[Theo.M]

As many of you know I have been struggling with health issues for many years, but they are musculoskeletal based, i.e. not fatal. Just something I have had to learn to live with and work as best I can around certain limitations.

Last sat week morning I woke up with nearly 43 fever at 4am (I had 109F). 4 hours prior to that when I went to bed I felt completely normal (normal for me).Today is the 11th day as it is now after 4am here Wed morning (working on Aussie time and date of course).

If I hadn't immediately gone to hospital, it would have developed into septicemia and I wouldn't be here right now. Just got home Tue morning after nearly 10 days of IV and oral antibiotics combined, and I have to take a lower grade antibiotic for 6 months now, every single day.

My body developed an acute internal bacterial infection with literally no warning. Of course the first thing I thought was "I finally got Covid for sure this time" but the test quickly showed negative. Weirdly, I have still never had it (not that I know of anyway).

I am one of those in the 5 percent of immunocompetent people (that's the word I was told) that Hep A & B vaccines won't work for. I have had 9 shots, the full course 3 times over 3 years, and I just don't develop antibodies so they told me to stop trying. I thought immunocompetent was a good thing and that things like this wouldn't happen to me because I had a strong immune system that could fight it off, and I thought maybe that's why I haven't had Covid since the outbreak.

Lesson learned - don't be an armchair internet doctor, ever, and always take your health seriously, no matter how daunting the prospect of sitting in emergency for hours on end before being seen by a doctor may seem.

The main thing I could think about was that I wasn't ready and had so much more music to write. But the biggest thought of all was this constant flood of memories of petty arguments online and how pointless it all was. I have never felt things being put into perspective before quite like this. The anger over the years from myself and plenty of others about things that are just SO stupid - it occurred on YouTube as little as 2 weeks ago again. Not to mention Gearspace (ok, admittedly, a lot of dickhead snobs over there, for sure, but still, why engage? Just ignore and be positive only).

I felt so sick, sicker than I had ever felt in my life (when I was 21, I got glandular fever (mono for our US friends) then after 2 months of that I got an extreme case of chicken pox due to my immune system having already taken such a beating, and that was the last time I can say I felt really ill, but it never felt like I wasn't getting better).

I really did think this time it was the end. Maybe at nearly 52yo that fever was just too high and took too much out of me and that's why I felt this way. But what really terrified me was that after initially responding to the antibiotics almost instantly and feeling SO much better after a few hours, it came back with a vengeance the next day, and then when they changed to a stronger antibiotic and getting almost instant relief a second time and thinking once again I would be fine, 8 hours later I was back to 42c temperature, *yet again*. It wasn't the shivering type of temperature, it was the boiling hot type so I couldn't get any respite. Couldn't even have a sheet on me I was so hot.

By the fifth day I started finally stabilising with my fever. With paracetamol and ibuprofen every four hours they were able to keep it between 38 and 38.5c, but without it I would still go over 40 Celsius during the morning hours - but as of Monday afternoon it finally broke and now my temperature is normal (36.8c) without any fever reducing meds. Touch wood. They kept me in another night and I came home Tuesday and last night was the first night I slept in my own bed, falling asleep at around 8pm. 10 days now of Augmentin duo forte then switching to a low dose of, I believe Cephalexin for 6 months. More bloods today, thankfully the nurse is coming to my home to take them at 10am. They just want to be sure that certain things have stabilised.

I am exhausted, walking down to have some food last night then back up took so much out of me. I just took it step by step and it took maybe 10 minutes each way, although walking up was a lot harder.

The moral of the story is that Life really IS short. Spend it on joyful experiences and avoid petty arguments and negativity. They are never, ever worth it. Appreciate how lucky many of us are in a world where so many aren't. For example, I consider myself incredibly fortunate to be in a country that had modern western medicine facilities to take care of me. Not everyone can say the same.
Something has definitely changed in me from this cause it reminded me of my own mortality. I have already made said changes to start living a (much) healthier life and to push myself every day to live that best life. Before this I was spending most of my life at home and now I am already making plans to drive and see the entire country, something I have always wanted to do. No matter if I am in pain or what my physical limitations are, I am going to start living every single day to the fullest. Whether that means spending a day making music, reconnecting with loved ones, simply taking a walk into town or taking that adventure I have always wanted to take - no more feeling sorry for myself or procrastinating. I think I had the ultimate wake up call.

I was truly frightened, and I am very glad to be here. So glad.

Peace to you all.

[motuscott]

Damn. Glad you're still here.

[Biolumin3sc3nt]

Yeah, peace to you as well Theo!! Now it's time, to go jump out of a perfectly good airplane, to celebrate!

[Theo.M]

Yeah, peace to you as well Theo!! Now it's time, to go jump out of a perfectly good airplane, to celebrate!

I can't risk skydiving anymore because the landing can not be guaranteed not to cause a jolt in my back, unfortunately. Thankfully I have done it a few times in the past, last time was 2010 before all the back issues started, along with bungee, reverse bungee, the largest roller coasters on Earth at the time and so on, as I was always an adrenaline junkie. I really, really miss all that.

The best thing for me right now however is to make that trip around OZ in my extremely comfy car (I chose it because even though it's a small SUV, the legroom for my 6ft4 frame is just epic up front and I can stretch and the 4 way lumbar support and sport seats are fantastic). It also has the partial self driving with car distance control and auto lane keeping, so it's a perfect car to take interstate.

Not going to rush, just take it 3 or 4 hours at a time, motel for a night or two, 4 hours again and so on. I'll take my laptop and an IK iloud (OG model) and keep the music going as well. The thought of that is very exciting to me, to just get away from it all. I want to see my country, always have, and I have never been to the West or Northern Territory. I've been to Tasmania, Queensland, New South Wales, South Australia and Victoria where I live but only to major cities. I am going to start by seeing more of Victoria, like Gippsland which I have never been to, then I'll go north, eventually west then south then back. I know when I get to Queensland I will be very tempted to do the DC Rivals roller coaster, so I have to control myself, although I have been told it's incredibly smooth without even a rattle.. So... maybe. I've been told by multiple neuro surgeons to treat my back like it's made of glass as there's no surgical options for me here, we stopped doing plastic lumbar disc replacements but they do them in the US so I am going to look at that in future also.

Thanks to you and MotuScott for the kind wishes, it's been a good day cause my body temp has remained stable, and now I am about to get another early night and sleep.

Cheers.

[miyaru]

I wish you the best Theo, hope you get stable and back to the state you where in.

Life is indeed too short.......

[Theo.M]

I wish you the best Theo, hope you get stable and back to the state you where in.

Life is indeed too short.......

Thanks so much, wishing you all the best too

Better again today, just fatigued and starting a new antibiotic for four weeks then more tests.

Cheers