Is your online behavior and the way you interact with other people different to your behavior in real life?

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TritoneAddiction
Posts: 3053
Joined: 29 Aug 2015
Location: Sweden

Post 02 Sep 2021

Is your online behavior and the way you interact with other people different to your behavior in real life? Does your manners change? If so, why?
Is there anything you'd like to change about your online communication style/habits?


I initially directed these questions towards myself. But I thought maybe someone else is interested in some self reflection as well, so why not share them.
These questions could be asked on any forum or online platform really.
Since a lot of us spend a decent amount of time online I think they're worth thinking about.

The questions aren't meant to make us point fingers at everyone else (which is way too easy), rather they're meant to make us reflect on our own behavior.
Try to stick to what YOU are doing, rather than comment on what you see other people are doing.

aftrshok99
Posts: 80
Joined: 11 Apr 2016

Post 02 Sep 2021

I like to think that my online interactions mirror my real life interactions, at least that's what I strive for.
Reason+ / Bitwig Studio 4 / NI Maschine MK3 / Novation Launchpad Mini MK3 / NI M32

Mint
Posts: 64
Joined: 17 Nov 2019

Post 02 Sep 2021

Great question.

The short answer is N0. I try to behave in exactly the same way eg. friendly, polite etc but It's sometimes difficult if you are in an online enviroment that doesn't support it Ie. Others arn't as civil as they could be.

This is actually a huge philosophical question being posed here. How much does our behavour change when we are talking to and interacting with people we will probably never see?🤔
Last edited by Mint on 02 Sep 2021, edited 1 time in total.
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deeplink
Posts: 482
Joined: 08 Jul 2020
Location: Dubai

Post 02 Sep 2021

Absolutely, I'm a dick on the internet.

loopeydoug
Posts: 124
Joined: 11 Oct 2018

Post 02 Sep 2021

I'd like to add that part of the issue seems to be the matter of formality when interacting online. I have always approached it as if I was talking to a close friend. This, naturally, assumes familiarity and understanding that one perhaps shouldn't assume. That's where I've run into trouble with it, at least.

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Jackjackdaw
Posts: 966
Joined: 12 Jan 2019

Post 02 Sep 2021

I make a conscious effort to try not to be dick online and irl. Hopefully that mostly works out and sometimes probably doesn't. I think the most important thing online is not to fly off the handle when someone writes something irritating. Just leave it and walk away. If someone glibly tells me to rtfm when I ask a legit question though I go full on keyboard warrior on their arse! ( The Cubase forum is terrible for it)

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rgdaniel
Posts: 493
Joined: 07 Sep 2017
Location: Canada

Post 02 Sep 2021

I'm way more intelligent and well-spoken online, because I can take as long as I want to respond with the perfectly phrased argument to support my point. In real life I'm more apt to shrug and mumble something lame, then later, in the shower, think "Damn, I should have said..."

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Timmy Crowne
Posts: 296
Joined: 06 Apr 2017
Location: California, United States

Post 02 Sep 2021

I wish I could behave the same way in both settings, but I think it’s largely impossible. To start, I don’t generally enter rooms uninvited and announce my opinion to whatever strangers are around. Then, all of the body language, intonation and facial expressions I would normally have at my disposal are stripped away. So I find myself writing more explicitly and precisely than I otherwise would. Sometimes I read my own writing and feel like an android!

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tronam
Posts: 429
Joined: 04 Mar 2015

Post 02 Sep 2021

I try to be as sincere online as I am in person, but I think the biggest weakness in my writing "voice" is the almost total lack of moment to moment humor. I tend to enthusiastically smile and laugh at myself a bit while talking in person which leads to most of my opinions coming across far more diplomatically, but I doubt anyone would know this from my online text.

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guitfnky
Posts: 3853
Joined: 19 Jan 2015

Post 02 Sep 2021

pretty much identical. my personality translates better in person though.
I write bad music for good people

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EdwardKiy
Banned user
Posts: 760
Joined: 02 Oct 2019

Post 02 Sep 2021

diametrically different. In a live interaction a person (myself included) has much less chance of remaining in denial of their being uninformed or misinformed, provided a code of conduct was personalized and maintained throughout. Moreover, a tete-a-tete can be shaped in such a way UNILATERALLY, that a search of truth or compromise, where truth can't be achieved, are the only options available. Not so online where absolutely any brand of denial or delusion is being actively promoted and is just a click away. Moreover, there is an increasing number of people who are simply incapable of holding their ground in a live conversation for a lack of experience, erudition or as a result of trauma, who don't use online dialogue as means of search for truth, but rather as a way to maintain or boost self-esteem and/or delusion, which may have caused them to recede online in the first place. A bit like underwater weight lifters. The only way to make a meaningful imprint or challenge these people to a search of truth (just these, not all people online) is to cause them considerable stress, but since this is now an "underwater weight lifting" domain, the stress threshold is much higher and this can be somewhat compensated (and had fun with) by throwing a fully loaded truck instead of the usual weight that person is expecting, kind of how satire functions. Since "online" becomes more of a norm as the governments are now doing their best to keep us from dialogue (main tool of acquiring perspective and introspective aka being informed), it's paramount that we maintain individual right to free offense if we hope to maintain our ability to reason/think/search for truth, meaning and a stable understanding of reality, and double all that for the online environment that we are being forcefully wedged into. Personally, I'm very comfortable with taking and giving offense in a meaningful manner, but I know it's not so for many people. But if we are to maintain individuality, it's either this or, as Nicholas Roerich put it, "A cataclysm with the terror of unexpectedness will awaken the minds".

Of course there are a lot more WHYs, but these are the main ones with which I justify to myself the difference in my online behaviour - having to deal with people who are not engaged in the search of truth and an increased threshold for offense, even if they are. Having these increased thresholds even more protected online and increasingly so than they are offline, by design makes the problem of sharing information even bigger. Works for now, though.

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BRIGGS
Posts: 1642
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Location: Orange County California

Post 02 Sep 2021

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My music made in Reason : https://audius.co/jeff40529158

Bes
Posts: 602
Joined: 22 Feb 2017

Post 02 Sep 2021

body language accounts for a big percentage of communication and in my body i may act the exactly same irl as online but communication requires those messages to be received and until that is possible, then acting the same online as irl and communicating the same online as irl are not going to the same.

i like that emoji's and ascii art and memes can be used really well in some cases but think its valid to use them just to take the edge off too

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Jagwah
Posts: 2085
Joined: 16 Jan 2015

Post 04 Sep 2021

rgdaniel wrote:
02 Sep 2021
I'm way more intelligent and well-spoken online, because I can take as long as I want to respond with the perfectly phrased argument to support my point.
OMG same, I wish I could speak as well as I wrote!
BRIGGS wrote:
02 Sep 2021
Image
Image

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gullum
Posts: 1095
Joined: 15 Jan 2015
Location: Faroe Islands

Post 05 Sep 2021

you blocked me on facebook and now you'r going to die

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stillifegaijin
Posts: 74
Joined: 27 Oct 2020

Post 05 Sep 2021

Same. I don't post much and I don't say much in person. It seems like when I do I make the people I love love me more and everyone else feels like I'm judging them...
Last edited by stillifegaijin on 05 Sep 2021, edited 1 time in total.

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Heigen5
Posts: 1153
Joined: 25 Sep 2018
Location: Finland / Suomi

Post 05 Sep 2021

I don't know, I think that I say what I mean on the nets, but I don't know - maybe the net-mode is more or less some kind of a 'model' anyway. But there's not a big difference in the real me and a net me.

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plaamook
Posts: 1706
Joined: 22 Jan 2015
Location: Abajo del mar...

Post 06 Sep 2021

I joke around a lot and sport a lot of really challenging conversations in person.
On line I think my jokes don’t translate and I shy away from deep discussions because I’m too lazy to type it all out and I’m pretty likely to get threads locked round here if I’m really honest. Also I get frustrated with how much nuance gets lost in all the typing. I often read the wrong intention into posts I think.
You can check out my music here.
https://m.soundcloud.com/ericholmofficial

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plaamook
Posts: 1706
Joined: 22 Jan 2015
Location: Abajo del mar...

Post 06 Sep 2021

But there’s quite a few times I’ve wished I could turn the odd RT thread into a session down at the pub.
You can check out my music here.
https://m.soundcloud.com/ericholmofficial

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Social Exodus
Posts: 345
Joined: 19 Jan 2015
Location: The wilds of North Idaho

Post 08 Sep 2021

Of course it's different. When 4/5 of your senses are not involved in "conversations", then it's bound to be rife with misunderstandings.

That said, I always try to be civil, soft "spoken" and give the person(s) involved the benefit of the doubt in thread world. In my life, my friends are few, but they are real. I don't hang with folks who are posers on a regular basis. I've heard it said that if you can count the number of true friends on the fingers of one hand you are very fortunate. I agree.

I have been involved in one forum (now defunct) where the members got together and arranged meetups by geographical area to jam together and friendships evolved from there in many cases. That's the kind of group where you must be true to yourself when posting because if you actually meet the people you interact with online it becomes apparent if you are not what you represent online.
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avasopht
Posts: 2704
Joined: 16 Jan 2015

Post 08 Sep 2021

I'm definitely a much bigger dick online but that's only because I'm really good at photoshop ;)
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