That is a very interesting question, as are the differing answers given by the participants of this thread.
My answer is this: I listen to my music, and I'm always amazed. I am amazed, because many times I wonder: "I did this? When did I do it? And what the hell have I thought doing it?" The relationship I have with my music is very similar to the one I have to texts I have written; be it a poem, a blog entry etc.: Sometimes I have not the slightest idea, when or how I wrote something.
It is, as if it's the work of somebody else.
When I think about it, a good way to explain it would be, if you think about a sleepwalker. A sleepwalker may do complex things. But he or she is rarely able to remember what he or she has done.
I don't really know why it is like this. Maybe it is, because mostly I am creative in the middle of the night, when I am half asleep.
Like right now
But it made me smile, when I heard Maynard James Keenan of TOOL say: We do not create our music. We are just the medium, the tool. The music is coming to us from somewhere else, we just pass it on."
And when I listen to my music, I get the impression, that sometimes I was driven by demons, more rarely by angels, and mostly by a bunch of crazy monkeys on cocaine.
Inspiration is a strange thing.
P.S.: I just realized, my music can be divided into two categories:
One part is not created conciously, or maybe better: Imagine someone sitting in front of radio, receiving a message barely audible because of the white noise on that frequency. Trying to get a glimpse of what the message is all about.
The other part is me trying to tell a story, and while I write it, I try to be the listener. Try to think what would blow me away if I listened to that story.
Yes, there are stories I'd like to tell.
Something comes to my mind: "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
This monologue from Blade Runner suits my train of thoughts perfectly.
Because the plot of Blade Runner is the story of artificial humans that got memories implanted to make them think, they are real humans.
Are we creators, or are we just the tools of an allcompassing spirit, that is the world, the universe and everything therein?
Ain't it funny, that the universe was born with a Big Bang?
Maybe all our music is an echo of that moment, when countless worlds were born.
Someone once said, that maybe the Big Bang was not a singular event. That the universe is like the sea flowing out and contracting, and every time it does it makes a Bang, like a big cosmic heart.
Maybe there is no end, and the cosmic drum is beating forever.
What a fascinating thought: Eternal music, meandering through the aeons.
Won't that be a great song?
) and upload to soundcloud and/or bandcamp I tend to listen once or twice on the player just to see if I'm still happy with it, then I leave it alone for a while. I keep my finished song files in a "Finished" folder for both Reason and Sonar. Once they're in there I very rarely go near them again.
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