Producer Related Jokes

[normen]

What's the difference between a guitarist and God?
God doesn't think he's a guitarist

How do you make a guitarist play twice as fast and half as loud?
Put some sheet music in front of him/her.

How long does it take to properly tune a 12-string guitar?
Nobody knows

What is the difference between a guitarist and a savings bond?
Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money.

How can you tell the difference between a trombone player and the Taco Bell dog?
The Taco Bell dog has a job.

How can you tell that a soprano is at your door?
Because she can't find the key and doesn't know where to come in.

What's the difference between a bassoon player and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.

What will you never say about a French horn player?
That's the French horn player's Porsche.

Why did the compressor lose the kicking fight?
because it had a soft knee

Me: I just released my Jazz album
YOU:That's great, have you sold much?
Me: Yeah, my house and my car.

Why don't hairdressers make good engineers?
Too much clipping.

Excuse me, where can I put this filter?
On the high shelf right there.

Bariton - what they don't have in the high registers they lack in the lows

[Electric-Metal]

What do Groupies and Bass Players have in common?

Both like to hang out with musicians.

[Ostermilk]

Engineer Speak:

"Come and have a listen" = Do another take.
"It's getting there" = Do another take.
"Oops, my mistake" = Do another take.
"How did you feel about that one" = Do another take.
"I must get that bloody door fixed" = Do another take.
"I think you are tiring now" = Come and have a listen.
"Well done. That one is in the can" = Engineer wants to go home now.

Dedicated to Gavin (he knows who he is!)

[siln]

[Karim]

Hi All!

So I'll start it off:-

Why aren't there many female producers?

Because women don't use Logic or Reason haha!

And this very funny video:-

It still sounds like this to me sometimes. When people talk about the big meter, peak, dBu and dBV etc

Thanks!

EDIT - Joey Luck (or anybody other moderator) can you move this thread to The Kitchen please? thanks!

Inviato dal mio SM-G925F utilizzando Tapatalk

[Creativemind]

2 Compressors got married. When they returned home, the guy compressor carried the female compressor over the threshold lol!

Sorry that was made up, can you tell?

[teddymcw]

2 Compressors got married. When they returned home, the guy compressor carried the female compressor over the threshold lol!

Sorry that was made up, can you tell?

You're def on to something or a couple of things but maybe a little tweaking to lol

[Creativemind]

Two Compressors got married. Ray Show and Dessa Bell. Now she is named Dessa Show, oops.

[SteveDiverse]

Is somebody going to get offended if I make a drummer joke?

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
-None. They have machines that do that.

[NDKay]

Why are rock musicians such bad lovers?

....Because they can't take the amplifier to the bed.