mashers wrote: ↑
15 May 2019
MrFigg wrote: ↑
15 May 2019
Ha ha...thanks yourself man
. I reckon it was stuff you already knew anyway.
Now to what address should I send the invoice for the therapy session?
I dunno, I think I’m pretty black and white in my thinking and sometimes I need to be reminded that there are other ways of looking at things. I try to be objective, but sometimes when a particular mindset works so well, it’s easy to forget that there are other ways too. Oh, the cheque’s in the post :p
sleep1979 wrote: ↑
15 May 2019
True This is alcohol related aswell , i had a gf for 4 years we met at a bar had a drink , then nearly every time we met we had a drink , and without one we barely spoke , yes coffee dates are more reserved and normal , but then thats how us humans are , only non alcohol dates for me now guys , trying to get my vocal chops back up tis week thanks for yoir help guys ,ps where is may madness ?b
If you don’t have anything to talk about and have to get drunk to get the conversation started, then there’s something wrong with the relationship. Perhaps you didn’t have as much in common with her as you initially thought. This can be a problem when you’re going into an interaction in the mindset of it being a “date” in the romantic sense. I like dudes but the principle is the same. I see lot of different people, and have absolutely no expectation. Sometimes you don’t click at all, sometimes you do and it leads to sex, sometimes there’s a friendship there, sometimes it feels like there could be more. And what I’ve noticed through all of these interactions is that the ones which lead to more than something casual are the ones where we actually have something in common. Shared interests, values, morals, aspirations, whatever it is, you have to have something in common. Perhaps it’s easier as a homosexual because we’re more likely to have things in common than a man and a woman. But I would suggest that joining local groups focused on your interests is much more likely to lead at least to friendship, and if more does develop from one or more of those friendships then it’s more likely to be enduring and mutually rewarding than two people who fancy each other but don’t really have anything in common. Sooner or later the initial buzz of a new relationship goes, and if you don’t have anything in common then there’s nothing left.
to be honest we did have things in common , we were both cockneys from south London and cockneys have a lot of banter
( ie making fun of each other or yourself in a joking way ) so we had that, she said she loved the banter I'm funny cute etc all that and we spoke and joked a lot ,
but she said I'm different to all the other guys she has dated ( ie there badboys and I'm nice I'm pretty sure that's what she meant ) so she was thinking if we should go out again or leave it there , then she said lets go for a drink but I'm not promising anything because she said she didn't get that giddy feeling yet , I just said lets leave it there then it was nice, and it ended nice like that last night ,
the differences we have are these , she always will want to get drunk and I've done that before and she will want to spend a lot of money and I don't , and she has lots of friends men and women and goes to party's and I don't ( I have a few )
so yeah on the face of it she's not right for me , but on the park café date I snogged her twice and she's hot if I went out with her she definitely would have kissed me at least , but for a gf definitely not , this woman I'm going for a coffee date on Sunday is more boring less bubbly than the very pretty one
, not as pretty etc ,
but she's way more chill and says nicer things so ive opted not to go out with hot one a, because I don't wanna get drunk and b. there's no future there and c. she wasn't 100% sure she likes charming nice guys anyway haha so yeah that's done man
, I'm staying on the coffee dates , and i think your right masher , id love to meet a musician but that never happens lol